Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
