is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
