Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize