is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
This is my gift to your gina
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
