We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
