We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
