I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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