just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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