I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
