i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
