I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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