She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
