Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
