It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
