She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
