You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
