Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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