well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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