sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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