jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize