I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
