she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
