Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
