i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
