barbara walters just said penis...
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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