My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
