I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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