The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
