I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
