You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
