STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize