so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
