he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
