Where is the hickey?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
