A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
