you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
only if we run a train.
done.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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