i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
