you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
