All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
