got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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