I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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