You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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