I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize
