I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
