I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
