Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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