I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
