I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
