i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
