I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
