I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
My balls are so social today.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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