i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
