Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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