Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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