So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
