Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
