I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
