Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
