sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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