If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize