Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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