I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
